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Written by the greenhouse team

Most houseplants die of kindness

Overwatering kills more plants than neglect ever will. This is everything our growers tell customers on the care text line, written down: how to read your light, what each species actually wants, what changes with the season, and how to diagnose the eight problems people text us about most.

A hand misting a marble queen pothos on a wooden stool with a fine spray of water.

Start here

Read your light before you buy anything

Nearly every plant we replace under the guarantee was put in a room that could not support it. Ninety seconds with your own hand settles it better than any app.

  1. 01

    Wait for midday

    Between 11am and 2pm, on a normal overcast day rather than a bright one. That is your room's honest average.

  2. 02

    Hold your hand a foot from the wall

    Stand where you want the plant to live, palm flat, about twelve inches off the wall behind it.

  3. 03

    Look at the shadow, not the room

    Sharp outline: bright. Soft and fuzzy: medium. No shadow you can point at: low.

So which shadow did you get?

Pick one and we will tell you what will genuinely live there.

Species library

Eight plants, and what each one is actually asking for

Same numbers as the label in your box. The line that matters most is the last one — the specific mistake that kills that species.

Close-up of split monstera deliciosa leaves with deep green fenestrations.

Monstera Deliciosa

Monstera deliciosa

Splits its leaves once it trusts the light. The fenestrations are a confidence signal, not a guarantee.

Light
Bright indirect
Water
Every 7–9 days
Humidity
40–60%
Pets
Not pet-safe

What kills it: Sitting in a saucer of water. Empty it fifteen minutes after you water.

Shop Monstera Deliciosa — $68 →
Golden pothos leaves with bright yellow variegation streaked through deep green.

Golden Pothos

Epipremnum aureum

The plant we sell to people who have killed three already. It wilts theatrically, then forgives you entirely.

Light
Low to bright
Water
Every 10–14 days
Humidity
Any
Pets
Not pet-safe

What kills it: Watering on a fixed schedule instead of checking. It tells you when — it droops.

Shop Golden Pothos — $32 →
A ZZ plant with glossy upright stems in a matte forest-green pot, held up against a white wall.

ZZ Plant

Zamioculcas zamiifolia

Stores water in potato-like rhizomes underground. It genuinely prefers being forgotten.

Light
Low light OK
Water
Every 3–4 weeks
Humidity
Any
Pets
Not pet-safe

What kills it: Kindness. More ZZ plants die of monthly watering than of neglect.

Shop ZZ Plant — $54 →
A snake plant with tall variegated leaves in a white pot on a walnut mid-century stand.

Snake Plant 'Laurentii'

Dracaena trifasciata

Architectural, nearly indestructible, and happy in the corner nobody else wants.

Light
Low light OK
Water
Every 3–4 weeks
Humidity
Any
Pets
Not pet-safe

What kills it: Cold wet soil in winter. Below 50°F it stops drinking — so stop watering.

Shop Snake Plant 'Laurentii' — $46 →
A young fiddle-leaf fig with broad veined leaves in a white tapered pot on a marble surface.

Fiddle-Leaf Fig

Ficus lyrata

Beautiful and famously opinionated. It will drop leaves to punish you for moving it.

Light
Bright, direct AM
Water
Every 7 days
Humidity
50%+
Pets
Not pet-safe

What kills it: Moving it. Pick the brightest spot you have and then leave it there for a year.

Shop Fiddle-Leaf Fig — $112 →
A Calathea orbifolia with round silver-banded leaves in a pale grey ceramic pot.

Calathea 'Orbifolia'

Goeppertia orbifolia

The prayer plant that folds its leaves at dusk. Gorgeous, and the fussiest thing we sell.

Light
Medium indirect
Water
Every 3–4 days
Humidity
60%+
Pets
Pet-safe

What kills it: Tap water. The fluoride crisps the edges — use filtered or leave it out overnight.

Shop Calathea 'Orbifolia' — $58 →
A parlour palm with fine arching fronds in a ribbed white pot against a soft sage wall.

Parlour Palm

Chamaedorea elegans

A Victorian parlour staple, non-toxic to cats and dogs, and content well away from a window.

Light
Low to medium
Water
Every 7 days
Humidity
40%+
Pets
Pet-safe

What kills it: Letting it dry out completely. Unlike a ZZ, this one does not bounce back.

Shop Parlour Palm — $42 →
A spider plant with cream-striped arching leaves spilling from a woven hanging basket.

Spider Plant

Chlorophytum comosum

Throws out baby plantlets on long stems once it is settled. Pet-safe, and the easiest thing here to propagate.

Light
Medium to bright
Water
Every 7 days
Humidity
Any
Pets
Pet-safe

What kills it: Fluoride in tap water, which browns the leaf tips. Use filtered, or leave a jug out overnight.

Shop Spider Plant — $28 →

Through the year

The same plant wants different things in January

Care advice written for summer is why plants die in winter. Four short seasonal rules — the watering can is the one that changes most.

Season 01 · Mar–May

Spring — wake it up

Days lengthen and roots start drinking again. This is the only window where repotting is a kindness rather than a shock.

  • Repot anything root-bound, one size up
  • Start feeding at half strength, monthly
  • Increase water as new growth appears
  • Cut off anything winter killed

Season 02 · Jun–Aug

Summer — the growth run

Everything moves fast. Soil dries in days rather than weeks, and a west window can genuinely scorch leaves by August.

  • Check soil twice a week, not once
  • Shift plants back from hot afternoon glass
  • Feed monthly; skip it in a heatwave
  • Wipe dust off broad leaves so they can breathe

Season 03 · Sep–Nov

Autumn — taper off

Light drops before the temperature does. Growth stops well before your plant looks like it has stopped.

  • Stop feeding entirely by early October
  • Cut watering frequency by roughly half
  • Move plants closer to the window
  • Do not repot — wait for spring

Season 04 · Dec–Feb

Winter — leave it alone

The hardest season, because doing nothing feels like neglect. Dry heat and cold glass do the damage, not the calendar.

  • Water only when the top two inches are dry
  • Keep foliage off cold window glass
  • Move plants away from radiators
  • Expect zero growth — that is correct

Troubleshooting

The eight things people text us about

Ranked by how often they land on the care line. Most of them are the same problem wearing different symptoms.

Almost certainly, if they are yellow and soft, starting from the bottom of the plant. Soggy soil suffocates roots, the plant cannot drink, and it looks exactly like thirst — which is why people water again and finish the job. Put a finger in to the second knuckle. If it is damp, do nothing for a week. If the soil smells sour, take the plant out of the pot and look for black, mushy roots; trim those off and repot in dry mix.

Crispy brown edges are usually dry air, not dry soil — most common between November and March when the heating runs. Move the plant off the radiator and away from cold glass first. Misting looks caring but raises humidity for about ten minutes; grouping plants together or a small humidifier actually works. If the whole leaf is limp and brown rather than crisp at the edge, then it is thirst.

If it is October to March, no — that is exactly right. Houseplants stop growing when daylight drops, and pushing them with feed just burns the roots. Stop fertilising entirely, cut watering by roughly half, and wait. Growth restarts in April. If it is midsummer and nothing has moved in three months, the plant is either root-bound or under-lit; check whether roots are circling the bottom of the pot.

Fungus gnats. They are harmless to the plant and a reliable sign the top of the soil stays wet too long. Let the top two inches dry out completely before the next water — that alone breaks the breeding cycle in two to three weeks. Yellow sticky traps catch the adults meanwhile. You do not need to repot, and you do not need an insecticide.

No. Your plant has just crossed the country in a box and is already dealing with new light. Repotting on arrival stacks a second shock on top of the first. Leave it in its nursery pot for at least a month — drop the whole thing into a decorative cover pot if you want it to look finished. Repot in spring, one pot size up, and only when roots come out of the drainage holes.

Hold your hand a foot from the wall at midday. A sharp-edged shadow means bright light; a soft fuzzy shadow means medium; no real shadow at all means low, and you should be shopping the ZZ, snake plant or pothos. Do this on an overcast day too — a west window in July and the same window in January are genuinely different rooms.

One or two tired leaves after transit is normal and the plant will replace them; cut them off at the base with clean scissors. If more than a third of the foliage is damaged, or the stem is soft, that is a claim — photograph it and send the photo within 30 days. We replace or refund without asking you to ship anything back.

Only where the badge says Pet-safe, which we check against the ASPCA list rather than a supplier's spreadsheet. Parlour palm, Boston fern, calathea and spider plant are non-toxic. Monstera, pothos, ZZ, snake plant and both figs contain irritants — not usually dangerous in a nibble, but genuinely unpleasant. If your cat chews foliage as a hobby, shelf them rather than floor them.